PGA Championship Recap
Is anybody else out there suffering from a MAJOR hangover? Yeah, I thought so. But we’ll always have fond memories of Corey Conners and Viktor Hovland stuffing their hopes and dreams into the same fairway bunker. We’ll always have the backwards hats and joggers in the rain. And how about PGA Pro Michael Block stealing our hearts with a miracle ace? And of course, Brooks Koepka further establishing himself as our generation’s premier big game hunter by winning the PGA Championship for the third time in his career. Good for him. Unfortunately, we will also always have the LIV Lovers on golf twitter dancing on PGA Tour Tombstones in the aftermath. Okay for them.
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It’s just too bad I staked my entire journalistic reputation on another LIV player winning it all. Bryson DeChambeau was 125 to one to take home the Wanamaker Trophy, and even though he didn’t win, the much-maligned golfer managed to muscle his way to a T4 finish. As far as long shot dark horses go, he gave us one helluva ride, even topping the leaderboard after round one. But strictly speaking, my journalistic reputation is as soiled as Tom Kim after he lost his ball on the sixth. We’ll always have that, too.
But enough about the past, and enough about hangovers. How’s about we crack open some Charles Schwab Challenge and enjoy a little hair of the dog? Once more unto the breach, dear friends.
A Short Course and a Royal Tartan Plaaaaaaaaaaid Jacket
The Colonial Country Club course is a par 70 coming in at 7,209 yards. It’s all Bermudagrass from tees to Bentgrass greens, and it boasts some of the most difficult par 5s on the tour. Whoever manages to conquer that Texas Tundra will take home $1.566 million of a $8.7 million prize purse, and perhaps more important, a goofy-ass plaid jacket.
Who Will Put on The Plaid in 2023?
Last year, Sam Burns edged out his pal Scottie Scheffler in a playoff to claim both the winner’s purse and the winner’s jacket (such a fashionista!). They’d probably both be solid bets again this year. Scottie Scheffler is undeniably the best ball striker in the world right now and chalk has been hitting at an alarmingly boring rate. If he can put together four clean rounds and sink a few putts, it’s his to lose.
I’m a broken record here, but Tony Finau is another guy whose power fade might work well at the CCC. He also has a pretty solid course history, and… I hate to say it, this is the kind of field Finau can probably overcome.
Jordan Spieth was forced to withdraw from his favorite hometown Texan event two weeks ago. Maybe he can turn Forth Worth into a belated homecoming instead. After all, he’s won here before and been runner up three times.
There’s also Collin Morikawa and Sung-Jae Im and blah blah blah, but chalk is SO BORING, isn’t it? Even teachers have moved on. They’re putting people to sleep with smart boards now.
So let’s do something crazy, Fort Worth! Let’s back some official long shots!
- Harris English: His name sounds like an Austin Powers sex move. Give ’em the Ole Harry English, baby, yeahhhhhh!
- Rickie Fowler: He’s a solid bentgrass putter, and I watch this clip once a week.
- Christiaan Bezuidenhout: I picked him the last time the tour was in Texas and made a great joke about sneezing… he finished just outside the top 20.
And there ya have it. I mentioned nine golfers out of 120. What could go wrong?
Now let’s get to my favorite part of the column: Counting money that isn’t mine. Oh well. That jacket’s ugly anyway. Yeehaw!
2023 Charles Schwab Challenge Payouts
1 $1,566,000
2 $948,300
3 $600,300
4 $426,300
5 $356,700
6 $315,375
7 $293,625
8 $271,875
9 $254,475
10 $237,075
11 $219,675
12 $202,275
13 $184,875
14 $167,475
15 $158,775
16 $150,075
17 $141,375
18 $132,675
19 $123,975
20 $115,275
21 $106,575
22 $97,875
23 $90,915
24 $83,955
25 $76,995
26 $70,035
27 $67,425
28 $64,815
29 $62,205
30 $59,595
31 $56,985
32 $54,375
33 $51,765
34 $49,590
35 $47,415
36 $45,240
37 $43,065
38 $41,325
39 $39,585
40 $37,845
41 $36,105
42 $34,365
43 $32,625
44 $30,885
45 $29,145
46 $27,405
47 $25,665
48 $24,273
49 $23,055
50 $22,359
51 $21,837
52 $21,315
53 $20,967
54 $20,619
55 $20,445
56 $20,271
57 $20,097
58 $19,923
59 $19,749
60 $19,575
61 $19,401
62 $19,227
63 $19,053
64 $18,879
65 $18,705